


Affectionate Deception

by Elsey8



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro Lives, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Shovel Talk, deception(fond)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsey8/pseuds/Elsey8
Summary: Goro returns to Tokyo and is immediately roped in a deception plot...that he's dating Akira.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 11
Kudos: 194





	Affectionate Deception

Goro knows he shouldn’t be where he is. Back in the middle of Tokyo is asking to be caught by someone who will recognize him, but there are some important things he needs to get done here and really no way to get out of it. 

He’s only staying for a month, it can’t be that hard to stay out of trouble for that long. 

So he’s in Tokyo. Doing his best to avoid any places he used to haunt, any places he remembers Akira going to. He has friends all over the city, even if he isn’t here himself. 

Well, he  _ shouldn’t _ be here. 

Akira should be in his hometown quietly going back to his normal life and no longer having anything to do with Akechi Goro because their lives don’t need to constantly be tangled so sharply it hurts to pull apart. Not anymore, anyway. 

So Goro is pretty sure the Akira lookalike who’s arguing with some guy across the street isn’t actually Akira. He’s almost positive. Even if it is, Goro just needs to walk past it like everyone else is doing. Mind his own business, he used to be  _ so good  _ at that. 

Not-Akira tries to walk away, and the man catches his wrist and instead of more anger, Not-Akira responds by freezing and looking down, away. 

Then Goro is already across the street, his arm winding around  _ definitely _ Akira’s shoulder to tug him free, get him away. 

“What are you doing with my boyfriend?” Goro says, entirely without thinking. 

He’s so screwed. Could he really not think of anything else to say?

He starts to wish he had actually disappeared after Maruki’s reality collapsed, just to avoid this moment here where he’s being looked at like he just told the worst lie of his life and Akira has gone entirely deer in headlights. 

Of course he’s happy to be alive and everything, but disappearing is currently seeming like a good idea. 

“Bullshit—“

“Can we go home?” Akira blurts.

He’s clutching onto Goro’s arm painfully now. His fingers are gripping onto his sleeve, holding himself close like he’s scared Goro is going to bolt otherwise. 

After all this time, Akira is really trusting him completely on a dime like this. Like Goro hasn’t been avoiding him, like no time has passed at all. 

It makes for a believable lie, and it makes Goro’s chest tighten. 

“Yeah, sorry I took so long.” Goro starts to pull them away. “I couldn’t find the right creamer.”

“That’s fine,” Akira murmurs. 

Goro presses his lips to the side of Akira’s head to sell it, noting that he seems to have gained a little more of a height advantage. 

Akira leans in closer, holding on for what seems like dear life.

Akira keeps his mouth shut while they walk, aimless. So Goro doesn’t say anything either, he just keeps them moving. He doesn’t go anywhere near his temporary apartment, because he’s not about to bring Akira there without saying anything and he isn’t sure if that guy is going to follow them. 

Goro ends up speaking up once they get to the station, because he’s fairly close to dragging them both to Leblanc and bursting back into Akira’s social circle just to make sure he’s going to be okay. After all this time, he’s still weak. 

“Where should I bring you?” he asks.

Akira pulls away from him, looking around no less than three times before he shakes his head. 

“I’ll...I’m going back. I can’t talk to you right now, I’m sorry. I’m staying at Leblanc again.” Akira looks an inch away from his face. “And Muhen says you can swing by any time. I’m still free most days after school, if you want to go together.”

Akira nods at him, and he’s on the train before Goro can think to ask anything else or respond in any meaningful way. He doesn’t get to ask if Akira will be safe on his own, and then remembers that he’s entirely capable without Goro and always has been. 

He’s never needed to be protected before, and a single moment of weakness doesn’t change that. 

And yet he’s at Leblanc the next day, his usual time he’d show up to wait for Akira to come back after school. When he walks through the door and makes eye contact with Sojiro, he briefly wonders if he’s going to get kicked out. 

“Akira said you’d be by,” Sojiro says. “Sit down, kid. I’ll get you coffee.” 

Goro sits down. 

And as promised, he’s made coffee. 

It’s simple like that. Easy. As if no time at all has passed since the last time Goro was here, as if it was last week and not last year. Longer than that. 

Goro hasn’t actually sat down casually like this to just drink coffee in Leblanc in a long time, since before the interrogation room. After that mess, he felt like he didn’t belong here, like he wasn’t allowed to sit in Akira’s old place. He avoided a lot of things he associated Akira with after the interrogation room. He doesn’t really count Maruki’s reality. 

Goro carries a lot of weights with him, things that he carts around from his past, from the futures he’s ruined, and from his burden in the present. 

He feels one silently lifted from his shoulders as he lifts the mug to his lips and drinks it down until his entire stomach is warm. 

Sojiro doesn’t force conversation, he never has. 

They used to sit here waiting for Akira together in total and comfortable silence, as Goro drank his coffee and Sojiro watched TV. There was never pleasantries needed between them, never anything other than the two of them just occupying the same space. 

On the days Sojiro worked on crosswords, he’d ask Goro for clues he couldn’t get, and that would be the only words exchanged between them until it was finished or until Akira showed up. 

Right now, the TV is switched on. So Goro drinks his coffee, and he lets their silence be. 

Akira used to walk through the Leblanc doors, and his face would light up the same way every time he saw Goro sitting there. There was even that day he’d called Goro “honey” in that joking tone, and Goro had internally laughed at him and externally played along. He used to think it was all pathetic, but now he wishes he had appreciated just how endearing that was. 

Because when Akira walks through the door and sees him, he just looks tired. 

“That was my ex last night,” he says on his way up the stairs. “Clearly he’s an asshole.” 

Goro watches him go, and is fairly certain he’s not allowed to follow. 

“Kid, is he harassing you again?” Sojiro calls up the stairs. 

“Like he’d ever leave me alone!” 

Goro is just slightly confused. 

Akira comes down the stairs, already changed out of his uniform and tying an apron around his waist as he moves around Sojiro to get behind the bar. He’s making coffee before Goro can tell him he’s alright. Maybe it’s not for him. 

“You could always ask me for help,” Sojiro sighs. 

“Iwai already offered to  _ take care of him.  _ I’m good. I can handle it.” 

“You haven’t really handled it in a while.” 

Akira looks at Sojiro, unimpressed. He goes back to his task, taking Goro’s empty mug to refill it. 

So it  _ is  _ for him. 

He won’t complain at this point. 

“It’s fine. Goro is my boyfriend now,” Akira deadpans. 

Doesn’t Akira know he’s not as good at lying as he used to be? And he definitely doesn’t want to get caught lying to Sojiro about something like this, although he can’t possibly comprehend  _ why  _ they’re doing this. 

Akira turns slightly and smiles at him, though, and then Goro realizes this is just payback. This is his just desserts for disappearing, he’s almost sure of it. 

Akira goes back to making him more coffee, which leaves him to face off against Sojiro pretty much on his own. 

“I thought we were going to wait to tell anyone,” Goro says. 

He has to force his face into a pleasant sort of surprise, make his entire body contort around the lie to mask it in total honestly. But he can’t put on the Detective Prince mask, Sojiro knows that’s fake by now. So he still has to say genuine rather than just cranking the charm all the way up and hoping for the best. 

This is exhausting. Why did he do this every day? 

“It’s Sojiro,” Akira dismisses. 

“I don’t mind,” Goro amends, turning to bow his head towards Sojiro. “Sorry for the trouble, I promise I’m not the same as I used to be. I’ll take care of him.” 

Is that what people say? Is that a thing? 

Goro has no idea what he’s doing, he feels fully out of his depth and he can see Akira grinning behind the counter. He’s being tortured. 

Akira sets his coffee in front of him, and Goro quickly brings it up to drink it so he has an excuse to stay quiet. It burns, but it’s his favorite blend and Akira made it so he’s more than happy to scorch his throat for it. 

Sojiro is still looking at him, what the hell? Was he supposed to say something else? 

“Well, I trust Akira to make choices for himself. Just make sure you don’t waste that trust. I hate calling in favors.”

“Sojiro, leave him alone,” Akira laughs. 

But still, like it’s not quite a joke. 

“Yes sir,” Goro promises. 

He feels his smile becoming strained, getting weaker the longer he sits here and struggles to keep eye contact with Sojiro.

But then he’s released, as Sojiro goes back behind the counter to start cleaning up. 

Goro considers dragging Akira upstairs to yell at him and demand answers, but he thinks that would be more trouble than its worth. If Sojiro hears them, that couldn’t go well for either of them. 

Besides...Akira’s eyes are twinkling. When he walked in before, he had seemed tired and defeated. But now his entire face has brightened up, and he walks over and squeezes Goro in a painfully tight hug, laughing.

So it’s fine. Goro started it anyway. 

It really starts after that, though. Once Sojiro locks up for the night, and Goro has sat for so long his legs are numb. 

Akira stays there, behind the counter, and he looks at him like he’s expecting something. 

“No questions?” Goro presses. 

He was sure he would be bombarded the moment his true fate was known. He was sure Akira would have more questions than he had answers for even, was certain that coming back to Tokyo and trying to settle back into things would be the death of his new self. 

Akira shrugs. 

“No. I wish you’d told me, and I’m not happy that you didn’t. But I know...you didn’t owe it to me. You weren’t obligated to tell me anything. I’m glad you’re here now.” Akira adjusts the glasses he doesn’t need. “However, don’t think you’re getting off easy now.”

Akira tells everyone he knows that Goro is alive. That should be punishment in it of itself, to be so known when he was trying to fade into irrelevance. But of course Akira can’t stop there, he refuses to. 

Instead, he decides to prolong the torture with the one lie Goro told to get him out of trouble. 

Ann is the first one, she runs into them on their way to the jazz club. Akira sees her before he does, quickly interlocking their fingers and moving closer. 

Goro’s brain goes right into overdrive trying to figure out what Akira is playing at now. 

“Is that...no way.”

Akira is playing meek, sheepish. Like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, not holding hands with his presumed dead rival. 

So Goro plays the other side of it. 

“Hello Takamaki,” Goro greets politely. 

“Ann--”

“You’re holding hands!” Ann bursts, pointing. 

“I know,” Akira sighs. 

“It’s a recent development,” Goro tells her. 

She’s gesturing wildly now, and he has to admit it is a little funny. He can see where Akira’s amusement over this comes from. 

His own torment aside, he doesn’t mind it much. 

He does wish Akira had told him the rules of their game beforehand, but some of the fun here is coming from being put on the spot. 

“How did it happen?” she asks excitedly. 

Goro would never have expected excitement to be anyone’s first reaction to this. 

Akira squeezes his hand, and the look on his face turns so sweet it makes Goro’s teeth hurt. He’s an extremely good actor, when did that happen?

“Goro, honey, why don’t  _ you  _ tell her?”

“I’d love to, but you tell the story so much better,” Goro challenges. 

“I disagree! Come on, please?”

Think of a believable lie. There’s no real danger if Goro messes this up, but he has to admit he doesn’t want to let go of their little game yet. 

He’s finding it’s more fun than he initially expected. He hasn’t needed to think this much this fast in a long time, not since he was a hitman double crossing the Phantom Thieves to double cross Shido in the future. 

“He caught me,” Goro starts slowly. “In quite the reversal of our usual roles, yes. It was while I was waiting for the train, he caught sight of me. We ended up talking a bit over coffee to catch up, and once we’d caught all the way up...there were some things that remained unsaid before. I think we both were done keeping secrets from one another.”

Ann’s eyes are shining, her hands pressed over her heart. 

“That’s so cute! When did this happen? How did I not know already?!”

“Just a couple days ago,” Akira says, vaguely. “It’s new, so I wanted to wait on telling anyone for a bit, you know how it is.”

“You know what? I knew it.” Ann shakes her head. “You were always giving those looks to one another. It was always so obvious that Akechi only had eyes for you!” 

Goro doesn’t have to pretend he’s embarrassed because he feels his cheeks get hot almost immediately. 

Akira laughs and elbows him somewhat sharply. 

“Goro, you hear that?” he teases. 

Goro considers giving up the ruse, but the thought is gone as soon as it appears. 

Akira looks far too  _ happy  _ for Goro to consider that really seriously. 

“Akira, don’t act innocent! You’ve been obsessed with him since all the way back to the TV station! Don’t you remember, you—“

Ann doesn’t get any further than that because Akira starts tugging him away. 

“We have to go on our date now bye!”

Akira teases him relentlessly over drinks and music, over his “obvious crush”. 

Goro wonders if he knows just how much truth Ann’s statement held, if he ever realized how Goro felt. 

And he snaps back harshly at Akira just to watch it glance off of him to no effect. He missed being able to talk to someone without holding anything back. 

Futaba knows next, because of course she would. Goro had almost forgotten she had Leblanc bugged until she texts him as Alibaba to ask what his intentions are with Akira. 

He tells her the things he hopes she expects to hear. That he isn’t going to hurt Akira, he’ll treat him right, he’s taken this time to grow. He assures her that he has no malicious intent, that she can actually trust him this time. 

She seems to sort of believe him, although she does threaten to dox him if he does anything bad. 

They’re not fully lies either, even if the pretense of a romantic relationship is wrong. 

After all, Goro would never burden Akira with himself like that. He can barely handle the tense friendship they’re trying to rebuild from the ruins of a rivalry and betrayal. Anything more than that wouldn’t be fair.

It’s really his own selfishness that stopped him from running away entirely after their first chance meeting. He just really wants Akira back in his life. 

He missed him.

Akira brings them out for ramen, of all things, when Goro complains about not being able to cook. There was some part of him that wanted Akira in his apartment, comfortable in his space and cooking for him. He wonders if Leblanc’s curry would taste as good at his temporary place as it did at Leblanc. He wanted to know if it was the location or the person who cooked it that made it taste so good. 

Ramen is fine. Ramen would be fine, if when they got there Ryuji wasn’t already sitting and trying to wave them over. 

“I don’t want to,” Goro complains quietly. 

Akira had told everyone he was alive already, at least. 

But Ann...he doesn’t know if she told them anything about their relationship, but he thinks she might’ve actually stayed quiet about something like that. Some part of him wished she had spilled to everyone to spare him from this, though. 

Akira grabs his hand and drags him over to where Ryuji is sitting anyway. 

Ryuji looks at their joined hands, which stay stubbornly together even when they’ve stopped moving because what is Goro if not simply going along with all of Akira’s whims? 

They sit with Ryuji, and Akira couldn’t possibly be any more  _ obvious  _ than he’s being about leaning in close to him and squeezing his hand. 

Ryuji doesn’t say a word, though. He talks to Akira about working out, about school. He asks Goro about how he’s been, about what he’s doing. But he doesn’t mention anything about them, collectively. 

Not until Akira seems to get sick of subtlety and turns to kiss his cheek, barely. It’s close enough to his mouth that he isn’t sure if Ryuji can tell the difference. He’s pretty sure Ryuji can’t tell, because even his own brain gets confused for a second.

It’s close enough that Goro feels his entire face get red and considers bolting. He could be gone so quick, he’s on the outside of the booth and he doesn’t have much on him right now. He’s always been able to run faster than Akira. If Ryuji chased him though, that might be a problem. 

“Oh! I was trying to figure it out on my own. My bad,” Ryuji says. “Was this a date? Oh man I’m third wheeling aren’t I?”

“A bit,” Akira laughs. 

“Sorry! You have your date, I’ll go. I...bye! I’ll see you, dude.”

Ryuji is out of the restaurant before Goro can respond in any way. 

Well, if he’s leaving then Goro doesn’t have to make a run for it anymore. 

“Is he going to tell anyone?” Goro asks, settling to actually eat now. 

“Probably!” 

Oh joy.

Makoto is a  _ nightmare.  _

She drives all the way from college seemingly just to track him down over that weekend, eventually walking into Leblanc later at night dragging Akira with her. 

Goro is just trying to help Sojiro finish his crossword, and he wants nothing to do with this. 

“You two! Explain,” she demands.

Akira looks at him. 

He sighs. 

“We’re dating. What is there to explain?”

“Well let’s start with the basics here, when, where, how, why?” 

“It’s been about a week now, we met again waiting for the train, we talked about it, and we have feelings for each other,” Goro lists impatiently. 

The lies are getting easier to manage the more he tells them, and the more truth he starts to pump into them quietly. Not that Akira needs to know that, but it’s his own little game of just how truthful he can get while still keeping up their ruse. 

“But…” Makoto gestures broadly. “Isn’t this a little fast?”

“I think it’s fine,” he dismisses. 

“We’re taking things slow,” Akira adds.

“I just want you to be careful,” she tells Akira. 

Like he’s not sitting right there. Like she has the right when she’s been away and yes he was too, but now he’s back and he’s here. 

He’s just trying to drink his coffee, finish the crossword with Sojiro, and maybe rope Akira into playing chess. This is  _ their  _ place. Did he see Makoto here often, even when there wasn’t a meeting? No. 

She doesn’t belong here, but he does. This image of him sitting here waiting for Akira is familiar, and...

Goro may still have remaining bits of jealousy when it comes to the others, even though he can have the same things as them now. Friendship may be a foreign concept to him, but he thinks he’s doing fine with it so far. 

He’s trying not to be possessive of Akira, even though he’s trying to play some intense catch up with the past year, and bringing all the lies he told Akira out and replacing them with truth. 

“Ah yes, the third murder attempt would be the charm,” he drawls. 

She glares at him, and he sips at his coffee as he blinks slowly up at her, innocent. 

“I meant in general! Akira’s ex is an asshole, I don’t want him to end up hurt again.”

“I’m playing the long con. Marinating him this time. Fattening him up. Etcetera and the like. I’ll take care of him in the meantime.”

“You’re going to freak her out,” Akira chides him. 

He just shrugs. 

Makoto doesn’t rise up to take the bait again though, she just shakes her head at him with a small smile. 

“No, I get it. I don’t mean to butt in, I just worry.” Makoto hugs Akira tightly. “I hope the circumstances work out this time around. I’ll visit. And Akechi, I swear, if you hurt him again I’m coming for you.” 

She waves and leaves, leaving Goro to immediately challenge Akira to a chess game. 

Akira wins. 

Haru is much more manageable. She simply texts him telling him who she is, and that Futaba gave her his number. She hardly says anything about the relationship, aside from an initial congratulations. 

It’s more that she simply starts...talking to him. Telling him about her business classes, asking about his day, about how he and Akira are doing although she must talk to Akira regularly as well. 

She tells him these stories that leave his sides sore from laughing, and they have conversations that take the biggest of weights off of his shoulders. 

It’s weird. Maybe a little nice. Probably a lot nice. 

Yusuke isn’t bad, by any means. He stops by for some curry and to see the Sayuri, complaining about an art block the moment he steps through the door to Leblanc. 

He and Akira had been in the middle of a match, and when Yusuke walks in, Akira quickly interlocks their fingers. 

Yusuke looks between him and Akira, blinks a few times, then nods.

“Congratulations,” he says. “Would you ever be open to modeling together for me, possibly nude?” 

“No,” Goro says. 

“Absolutely!” Akira answers. 

“ _ No _ ,” Goro repeats, more firmly. 

“I’ll talk him into it,” Akira stage whispers. 

That’s as much as Yusuke says on that, although he ends up dragging Goro into some art debate although he knows very little about art. He feels entirely out of his depth in the conversation, but somehow he manages to keep up anyway. 

Sumire is just Sumire. He bumps into her, without Akira for the first time, and her eyes immediately light up.

“It’s about time,” she says.

“What do you mean?”

“During Maruki’s Palace, the tension was suffocating. Seriously. I’m glad you actually did something about it!” 

The entire time they walk to the subway together, she says similar things teasing him about how obvious he was. 

He tried very hard not to be obvious about it at that point, when Akira knowing anything about how he really felt would make everything crumble around him. As long as Akira didn’t notice, as long as this is a game...it doesn’t matter anyway.

Goro hasn’t had a breakdown since he woke up alive about a year ago. He’d never felt so split open, the entire experience left him raw and unsure. 

He rebuilt his convictions from the ground up, he molded himself into someone new. He collects evidence to quietly hand over to Sae under the table about the conspiracy, travels around to use up the last of the dirty money from Shido. 

He’s poured it into charities, mostly. Tried to help the things he feels could use some, like he’s trying to get back at Shido in some capacity. 

He’s even set some aside for when he does end up going to college, some for his future tucked away like he’s embarrassed in simply assuming he  _ has  _ a future now. 

The point here is, Goro is extremely overdue for another breakdown, now that the dust has all been kicked up again after being settled for so long. 

He used to break often, weaponize each one for what it was worth, breaking off the pieces of himself to use, to  _ hurt.  _

He used to get angry, his convictions hardening into something more and more unshakeable. He’d take it out on his targets, on everything and everyone else before ever so much as considering that at the end of the day the only problem he truly had was himself. When everything else was over, when Goro had nothing but himself to deal with...he finally realized that. 

This breakdown turns inward, pierces straight through his heart to remind himself that he isn’t good. He gave up on that a long time ago, and the changes he’s making now don’t undo what he’s done. He knew what he was doing, every move on his part was calculated to a goal that was never going to be in his reach. 

That will never be anyone’s fault but his own. 

Being friends with Akira is a selfish move on his part, something entirely for himself considering he has no idea what he’s supposed to do in a situation like this. Akira is far too good for him in innumerable ways, in far more than he could ever hope to count. Goro knows if he had better control he would remove himself entirely and leave Akira for the third time. 

But somehow, this is what Akira wants, he wants Goro back in his life. 

Goro feels like he owes him that much, after everything that happened. He feels like going against that is too cruel. 

But more than that? Wanting to confess the things that he always left hanging in the air between them, finally seize that tension and break it, the burning need to have Akira to himself after all this time. That’s something he doesn’t deserve, something he will never grow enough to deserve a fraction of. 

There are so many people Akira already knows who would be so good for him, so many people he’s going to meet because god knows Akira makes friends out of everyone eventually. He has better chances elsewhere, and their whole lying game here is only temporary. 

He breathes around that specific pain and tries to move on. 

But in this downward spiral, Akira picks the worst possible time to ask him to play billiards. It will be the first time since Goro came back, and he doesn’t want the heavy reminder of when he fell in love with Akira. The first time he’d beat him in billiards, the little smirk he’d gotten as he taunted Goro over it. When Goro had tried to say something placating and polite, he’d only gotten the sharpness of Joker bleeding into Akira as he demanded a reamtch with his dominant hand immediately. 

Goro had been doomed from that moment, and he doesn’t want the reminder tonight of all nights. 

Of course, he goes anyway, because he no longer has the self control, the sharpness with which to deny him. Or maybe he does, and he just chooses not to use it. 

They twine easily around one another. Akira breaks for them, and they take their turns circling around the table, taking increasingly complicated shots and risks and it fills Goro up with adrenaline and leaves no room for anything in his mind other than  _ Akira  _ and taking each of his turns at a time. 

He’s probably a little too flashy in his moves, but he watches Akira press himself all the way across the table to take a ricocheting shot that sends half the balls left rolling. 

Goro immediately takes an answering, risky shot, and gets a pleased grin from Akira for his efforts. 

He’s hopeless. 

Akira says, “Everyone knew we weren’t really dating.” 

And then he sinks his last shot, and leans back with this little smirk. 

“Also, I win,” he adds. 

“Fuck,” Goro swears. 

Then his brain catches up to him, and he just stares at Akira in absolute confusion. 

He was sure he played their game well, he can’t see how anyone would’ve seen through the two of them. Together, he was sure they were entirely convincing. 

“I told them,” Akira explains. “Before, immediately. I just asked them to play along to mess with you.” 

Honestly, what can he really say in this situation? 

Akira deceived him, so what? 

It’s not the first time either of them have played that game, and this is harmless. Inconsequential. He’s lucky Akira didn’t simply kick him out of his life the second he tried to come crawling back, he’s lucky he gets to be in his life at all after everything he did. He’s lucky to have what he has, and sometimes you just have to take what you have and leave it there. 

He has no right to be upset about this, there shouldn’t...he shouldn’t  _ care.  _

“I see,” he says. 

Oh, does he care. He wanted everyone to think they were together, he wanted the whole world to believe it because maybe he’s okay if Akira isn’t his in the end. He doesn’t for a moment fool himself to think that Akira should be with him in any reality. 

But he is loath to think of Akira with anyone else. 

Akira is looking at him, now. And he sees him, he’s always seen him. 

“Ah, I’m sorry,” he says. 

“It’s fine, it’s not a big deal.” 

“If it matters to you, then it’s a big deal. Is it because I lied to you? I’m sorry, I...sometimes I forget we’re both different now. We don’t need to keep secrets between us anymore, I promise I’ll stop that. This wasn’t malicious or anything.”

Akira isn’t different, though. He’s sort of fused with his Joker persona now, the edges of him have hardened to compensate for the disbandment of the Phantom Thieves. But he’s the same. 

His smile is the same, he’s still just as infuriatingly kind and understanding even when it’s undeserved, he still looks at Goro the same as he always has. That look has haunted Goro, the way it’s openly happy, warm, the way he looks at people he genuinely likes. It has never changed, from their first conversation to now, Goro has never seen it waver. 

Akira is out of his mind. 

“I’m taking it personally, that’s on me,” Goro dismisses. 

“I’m sorry anyway.” 

“You don’t have to be sorry.” 

“I know.” Akira laughs, shaking his head. “But I am. I didn’t mean for it to hurt you like that. I did really appreciate you helping me out of that situation. I shouldn’t have teased you for it, that’s my own fault.” 

That’s not it, that’s where Akira is misunderstanding him. 

Goro likes the teasing, he likes the way it makes him feel. When he heard from the others that they’ve always been obvious, they saw this coming, all of that…

He’s upset because it isn’t real. It can’t be real. 

The day Goro woke up, it was raining. He knew he had lost everything when he searched up Shido’s name and only found out he was locked up because Akira had gone and got himself arrested. 

That was it, his two connections were both in jail. The good and the bad, they couldn’t touch him anymore. He didn’t know if he preferred that to before, or what he wanted at that point anyway. 

Because then it was just...him. 

Goro stood outside in the rain until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He let the wet soak into his clothes, his skin, all the way down to his bones. His clothes clung to his skin, and his heart clung to his soul. He knew he was going to make himself sick with it, and he didn’t care. 

He  _ felt.  _

He felt it, each raindrop against his skin, the cold that settled into him, the way it all made him feel alive. He reacquaintanced himself with being alive, with feeling without any walls in the way, and all he could think about was Akira. 

Akira was the slice of life he gorged himself with when he was still nothing more than a tool. He would take a knife and a fork, tuck a napkin over his lap, and cut into Akira over and over for just a tiny  _ taste  _ of the life he was bursting with. 

He took in smiles, grins, smirks, laughs, chuckles, giggles, angry tears, bared and gritted teeth, sad tears, screaming in desperation and anger alike, the begging, the convincing. Akira had so much stored up in him it spilled out, and Goro took the leftovers and hoarded them. 

Even free, he felt like he was missing that slice. 

His month is almost up here now, but he already signed his lease again even though he told himself it was one month only. Because he finally feels whole. 

He told himself it was torture to go to each of Akira’s connections and lie to them about their relationship, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t at all that, Goro liked it. It was fun, it was just a game like every other they always used to play. 

It made Akira happy, and that made him happy in turn. 

“I’m not upset with you, at all,” Goro admits. 

That graces Akira’s face with surprise. It’s been a long time since Goro got to surprise him so much it showed on his face, although in general Akira has grown more expressive in their time apart. 

Goro thinks he has as well. 

“But you  _ are  _ upset?” Akira asks. 

It’s less of an ask, because he must know as much. But it always used to make Goro panic when Akira saw him that deeply, so he’s taken to asking arbitrary questions he knows the answer to in order to substitute his knowledge. 

Goro shouldn’t notice that much, but he does. He notices everything about Akira, unfortunately. 

“I’m...angry at myself. I talked a lot about not keeping secrets, but. How good are you at telling when I’m lying?” 

Akira smiles a little. Like he can’t quite help the upturn of his lips, because he quickly gets it under control to fall on a more neutral expression before he answers. 

“Very good,” he claims. 

“Then you must know what I’m about to say.” 

Akira pushes his glasses up on his nose, momentarily obscuring Goro’s view of his eyes. 

“No idea.” 

Oh he’s such a liar. 

“I suppose I just won’t say anything, then,” Goro sighs. 

Akira recognizes it as bait judging by how he rolls his eyes. Still, he doesn’t call him out on it. 

“Do you want me to ask? About why you mixed truth into your lies? Cohesively, it comes across as more believable. But I’m used to distinguishing them, so it just came across as odd to me.” 

“Tell me which instances jumped out to you.” 

Akira, at some point, has managed to get close enough to him that Goro could count his eyelashes. Goro has always fixated on that feature of his, and then Akira flutters them sweetly and Goro thinks he’s probably well aware of that. 

“When we spoke to Ann. I know what regret sounds like coming from you, and when you said there were things that remained unsaid between us, that was true. It was true, and it was something you were bitter over. That was when I first started noticing your odd mixing.” 

“Have you come to a conclusion?” 

Goro’s heart is pounding. He considers telling Akira to screw off and leaving, but he doesn’t want to  _ lose.  _

“Hm.” Akira looks up at him and tilts his head back and forth. “Perhaps. It depends.” 

“On what?”

“If you’re willing to tell all my friends we’re dating again, for real this time.” 

“Do I have to get another shovel talk from Sojiro?” he blurts. 

That was terrifying. He really doesn’t want to go through that in a genuine context all over again. 

He…

Wait. 

“Wait.” 

Akira bursts into laughter, doubling over so close that Goro has to move slightly out of the way. He holds onto the ends of Goro’s shirt, losing it so loud the other customers are giving them looks. 

“Akira,” he hisses. “Come on, now. We need to actually talk about this.” 

He manages to pull Akira up so he’s standing, although he’s still laughing quietly. There are genuine tears of mirth in his eyes, and he wipes them with the back of his hand, breathing slowly through his fit. 

Akira’s grip shifts to the collar of his shirt, and he’s pulled in harshly for a kiss. 

He takes in as much as he possibly can before his brain starts working again. 

Akira’s lips are soft, his hands are big enough for his fingertips to brush Goro’s pulse from where they hold onto his shirt, his glasses surprisingly don’t get in the way, Goro can feel the way his smile fits between them, Akira--

Akira pulls back. Goro breathes, and his thoughts come rushing back to him. 

Thoughts that he doesn’t deserve this, that Akira is making a mistake. After everything that’s between the two of them, the last thing that belongs there is a  _ smile.  _

“Yes, Sojiro is going to give you a real shovel talk,” Akira says. 

“I want to break up,” Goro blurts. 

“Just to…”

“Just to avoid Sojiro, yes. Well there’s more reasons than that, but I don’t think you’ll approve of those.” 

“I don’t approve of this one either!” 

“Why not? Sojiro is scary.” 

Akira presses his face into Goro’s neck and laughs quietly, but his breath is hot against his skin, and Goro wonders if he’s going to die. He would die for this moment. 

Maybe Sojiro isn’t  _ that  _ scary. 

“Was my conclusion correct?” Akira asks, nails grazing his neck. 

“No. You were way off. Sorry, looks like I win this time.” 

“Liar. You’re hopeless, don’t even  _ try  _ to deny it at this point.” 

“You already know, do I have to say it?” 

“Absolutely. You owe it to me,” Akira claims. 

“You were right. Congratulations, Akira. What are you going to do about it?” 

“Nothing. You still have to tell everyone.” Akira kisses his cheek sweetly. “And since I won, you also have to pay for our first date.” 

Goro is suddenly...very grateful that he decided to come back to Tokyo. 

“It’s a deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, feel free to come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Gillian01430581)


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